Final Blog Post

Final Blog on my Spiritual Journey

What I intend to write about is what I suspect happened to me as a very small child, that created the very triggers that cause me to go into fight/flight, or as some now call it, over stimulation. This is what I believe the Nurses on my Unit were doing to me intentionally, after I had spoken to my co-worker about them. 

I believe I was the victim of what is called Satanic Ritual Abuse as a very small child. It's called ritual because it has intended results from specific types of abuse. Mine was to instill fear in me of many different types. There isn't a phobia I didn't have, but my worst symptom was of course Social Anxiety. There wasn't a day I spent in school or at work, where I didn't go into fight/flight.

What I believe happens when I go into fight/flight, and how it ties into my Matrix theory, is that my mind would react to the threat by going full left brain (3d), because that where the perceived threats always came from in my childhood. That was exactly what my abusers wanted to happen, because it would cut me off from my spirituality, and all the other aspects of my right brain. So, while in a perceived threat situation, of which I had many triggers, groups of people were a big one.  Even worse if it was a group of Alpha type males.

This also resulted in something I don't think they were counting on, which is it made me incredibly hyper-vigilant when I was in that state. I would shrink myself and become a people pleaser, but I also became extremely observant, which is where I believe I learned the gifts of reading people's energy as well as amazing pattern recognitions, which I showed you just one example of with the medical symbol, but there are many more.

The reason this is so important is that it ties in my early childhood abuse to the later gang stalking that occurred. Two other huge triggers were that of perceiver rejection and abandonment. I'm certain after my marriage ended, the following two relationships were with women who were covert narcissists. In hindsight, they knew my triggers well and used them against me but without my knowledge at the time, it appeared like I was just experiencing frequent bouts of depression, because that was how I would initially react when triggered.

The reason it's taken me so long to tell this aspect of my story in its complete form, is because I how I know it is designed to make me appear. However, now is the best time to speak up because there are so many nuero-divergent people now speaking up with the same stories. I first heard of Satanic Ritual Abuse from Jennifer Forrest over 10 years ago. She was on YouTube at the time and wrote a book about her experiences called "Help is on the Way. She was a very successful creator, very spiritual, but was also very strong in her 3d side as she had written the book, had a very lucrative online business, as well as being a public speaker on the subject. She wrote the 7 stages of Twin Flames, which was incredibly popular at that time. She almost hired me to go to work for her in 2015 as a computer support system specialist, but I believe someone in my family interfered with a smear campaign and she changed her mind.

It was all for the best, as much of what I would come to learn about myself and what has been happening, virtually all my life, I've just finalized in the last few years, despite working on it virtually nonstop for the last 15. I am not a Christian, but I do believe in a living God, and I believe each person's relationship is personal. In 2010, I believe I was anointed by God and that communication came through Clair cognizance, or just a knowing. However, I believe when I'm in fight/flight, while I'm still quantumly connected, communication through my 5d side is not possible, so I get communication in what Carl Jung called synchronicities.

I can give you an example that happened just two days ago. When a co-resident beat on my door like he was trying to break it down, it did affect me in a very negative way. I was in fight/flight, and I was actually having some serious suicidal ideation. I was listening to some very sad music when a thunderstorm, albeit a very short one, came through with just one bolt of lightning hitting the ground and the only thing that turned off was my stereo. I thought it was perhaps a sign that God wasn't through with me yet, but I also figured the Cabal, or whoever is currently in charge of the world, probably could control the weather to some degree. I even posted about it before saying computer: resume sad music. 10 minutes later, despite the storm having passed, our entire internet went down for about 4-5 hours. That was the confirmation I was looking for and actually snapped me back out of fight/flight.

I can tell you that getting on Adderall took my social anxiety away completely. However, it didn't prevent me from going into fight/flight once the gang stalking started happening here, following three general happy years of working over there. If you didn't know, the stalking was all sanctioned and paid for by the FBI. This is now public knowledge. They called it a suspected terrorist surveillance program, yet they had over 250,000 Americans on it at one time, with little to no oversight at the actual ground level where the surveillance occurred. It was easy to get on the list but impossible to get off.

I'm sure they used transgressions that may have occurred in your lifetime for some, as excuses for the, what some call the silent torture program. That's why I believe this final piece of the puzzle is so critical, because it shows the conditioning actually starts at birth for many of us who are identified as being right brained nuero-divergent. This makes moot any excuse they use that may have occurred later in your life as being a lie.  I believe all the targets of this program are nuero-divergent, but most have no idea why or how this is all happening to them. 

I will leave you with a link to a TikTok video that basically says what I am implying at the individual level, just with different terms. I will let you view it and see for yourself how she agrees that each individual is responsible for both being the one capable of sustainment (what she called the 3d material side) as well as flow (the 5d spiritual side). She goes on to say that separating the roles by gender, makes us incomplete and certain to become co-dependent on the opposite sex for the other dynamic. I have been speaking on social media for over a decade about these topics, mostly in comments, what I call planting seeds. Seeing it finally come back gives me confidence that it's finally hitting our collective consciousness and perhaps hitting a tipping point.

One last thought on this last blog post is that it will mean I have finally come 360 on my work. That number is extremely important, and its root number is nine. That is the number of completions in my opinion and something I learned from studying Tesla. I do want to recommend a separate short blog post I wrote about the numbers 3,6, and 9, and this idea of 9, being the number of completion.

 
https://www.tiktok.com/@theyeshuani/video/7519700890840861965 (opens in new tab)

https://noahwolflegend.blogspot.com/2025/05/the-magic-of-3-6-and-9.html